Just a Thought

growing is not easy
no how
no way
it must be endured
each and every day

but with lessons learned
and wisdom attained
each life is the measure
of all that is gained

there is no standard
by which to abide
each soul has a path
by which it is guide

with courses as different
as one's fingerprints
each life, like a star
shines one unique glint

from newborn to nether
from birth to the grave
to growing and changing
each life is a slave

when lessons imbued
are fully relayed
the struggle will end
in steadfast display

but the wisdom passed on
before the final knell
was acquired and gathered
till the last ringing bell

each day is a moment
a trial, a show
to challenge one's self
to fatefully grow

Counterpoint

i see you

you have been hiding
protecting yourself from the
pains and heartache of
love and emotion

i see you

peering through the
sack cloth of broken promises
betrayal, unrealized dreams and
unmet expectations,
straining to find the
beauty of the world
the hope of faith

i see you

remembering, reliving the hurts
through the laughter and wine
late nights and darkened rooms
failing to forget that joy
reminds you of the pain

i see you

how do you shield your heart
from joy and pain at the same time?

i see you

how do you reveal your soul in one moment
and fence it in the next?

i see you

wearing lipstick
the perfect color
perfume
subtle and memorable
disarming but understated

i see you

excited laughing
your nose wrinkling under the strain
passionate hands finishing stories
which words cannot manage

i see you though my eyes were shut
i see you

brave
ambitious
powerful

from afar

i see you see me

too close for a friend
too far to savor your perfume

Love is a Battlefield

fire emanating
heat radiating
explosion
bursts
sparking exhausted
embers
reinvigorated
glowing
burning
scorching
consuming calloused
frozen flesh
birthing
molten
fragile
fluid coals flaking
growing
fledgling delicate
hope
breathing
writhing
rising flame
sprinkling blinding
encompassing heat
guarded tinder
exposed
combustion
unshielded crumbling walls
evaporating
steaming condensing
healing ointment
soothing
moving
melting skin
flowing limitless flesh
coursing
driving
cracking
corroding
dripping
eroding
limestone sentinels
lay dying at the
doorstep of a
tender heart 

Paint The Town (Red)

red - the color of passion
l'amour
bee-stung lips, flushed cheeks
eruptions - flaming embers from the deep

the color of the west side one biting october night

two souls danced
paintbrushes in hand
dripping crimson joy into
cracked streets, steel curbs
melting from the liquid heat

gilded faces spattered, ruby encrusted
beam with delight, pleasure, desire
hot breath warms the frigid night as
one laugh births another and another
ceaselessly

quiet flames fanned by bittersweet tones
make mouths silent
eyes dance
hearts scream out muffled behind eager glances suffocated by cautious reserve
eyes with arms would  have embraced one another
the moment, the night, the cold heat

dark embers keep time as icy, sobering sunlight spreads
truth sweeps away the cover of night and the dream

your eyes met mine, familiar
your hand in mine, home
your step with mine, rhythm
a heart beat
my heart - lost

magenta trails trace from bloodshot eyes
left open exposing souls, unleashing hearts

footsteps of dripping, spilled, spattered
crimson paint move from my chest to your hand
your brush - it beats, it breathes, it moves, sighs
contented in your hand.
my heart - found, your happy brush

exhilarated, exhausted - from painting the west side
all night
flushed cheeks, l'amour, passion.
a painted town - a dream
red - the color of passion
red means stop

A Good Day, A Good Reminder

Today I spent 8 hours with my 9-year-old cousin, Malik. We disassembled, sanded, primed, painted, de-rusted, oiled and almost reassembled a bike for his sister's birthday present. I learned that he has a great imagination, a short attention span, a strong desire to be helpful but a fear of failing in the attempt.

He hates the Gummy Bear song, and he often gets a stomach ache because he talks so much at meal time that he scarfs his food without chewing in order to avoid being left alone at the table. He's not a fan of carrot cake, and has some of the shiniest, straightest, prettiest hair you've ever seen. He gets a huge kick from using tools, and has no idea that a razor blade is actually dangerous. He also likes to be organized with other people's things, i.e. tools and toys etc. (His own things? Not so much.)

He's super excited about me being at his house because there is a guy around that is like him, looks like him, thinks a little more like him, and can do fun guys things. This morning before setting out to the deck to work on the bike, he tells his mother, "We going [out] to be men!" Lots of things in life don't go as you plan. Sometimes frustrations set in when you're kicking at the goads trying to have your way. Then, in the meantime, if you stop kicking long enough, you realize you've stopped exactly where you were meant to. If only for a little while.

Today's Casablanca - November 6, 2006

I wrote this review 5 years ago, but I still feel this way. I enjoyed writing this review and welcome discussion.

______________________________________________________________________

 

Today I saw the great "Casablanca" for the first time. Originally written as a play called "Everybody Comes to Rick's," the film, while dated in appearance, is poignant in both theme and morality.

I thought as I watched this film, "How many people have been stranded by the latest battles around the world? How many lives and loves have been shattered and separated? How many of us have done the right thing in response?"

There is no simple answer to any of these questions as they relate to our current international situation. To compare, we previously had a clear enemy and a clear objective. Now, we are uncertain of exactly who we are fighting, and what outcome we hope to achieve. However, I do not find this situation is to be blamed exclusively on decision-makers. We have a great responsibility ourselves.

We as consumers have demanded such amazing technologies, some of which begin through military experimentation as terrible weapons. The more terrifying and impersonal these weapons have become, the more fearful we are of the slightest knock or noise. We walk on eggshells as an internal defense, attempting not to offend people of differing opinions or circumstances simply because we fear an unexpected retribution - legal or violent, we expect the worst because everyone is now prepared to provide it for the protection of his own pride and way of life.

We prepare amazing defenses designed to strike out at the first sign of impending attack. Atom bombs, H-bombs, and worse - terrible attitudes towards our fellow man, law suits and letters of complaint. While its true that we can never predict when a crazy, self-proclaimed messenger of God will appear and try to kill everyone, does it benefit any of us to be constantly on guard with our emotions and generosity? Is there some protection of the law that says we have a right not to be offended, and if we are, the government should step in and fight for us?

Some say we are fighting the war because the U.S. wants oil, and they stick it to us at the gas pump. Then we say we are trapped because we have no choices, and I think that is far from the truth. We have a choice, we are simply unwilling to pay the price necessary for that change. What kind of SUV do you drive? If you boycotted your gasoline engine until the government legitimately subsidized a real alternative fuel program, do you think we could be ignored? "But the oil companies have the politicians in their pockets." Because you keep giving them the resources to lure our decision-makers. 

Don't shout from the window of your Hummer that the president doesn't care about the soldiers or the American ecosystem. It's conjecture unless you know his mind. Besides, he would obviously be protecting your interests. So many, even in Hollywood, on their high horses talk about the terrible G. W. Bush and his poor action in this war. Many of those people were shouting for action after 9/11. Can we really have it both ways?

I think Casablanca shows us a reality of decision making that we take for granted. Rick's represented America, and how safe we feel here. Protected by our power and connections. 9/11 was like the Nazi's coming in and changing the dynamic of our everyday operations. Rick represented each of us, knowing what is right in his heart, but hurt by the reality of he wanted and the understanding that he is losing it forever. We have lost two things, just like Rick. One, we have lost the safe haven that the"United States" once provided through its relative insulation. Two, like Rick when Ilsa revealed that she was, in fact, married when they fell in love, and married still; we are now disillusioned to what freedom is and the true price of being in her company.

I think this is what makes this latest series of conflicts so dangerous to our society and to our soldiers. We were scrambling to understand a very strange world. As we drank heavily and wore our pants backwards, the world changed in such a way that it was no longer afraid or incapable of reaching us. We are not insulated any more, and we are not immune. And like Rick, we will each of us come to a point where we must make a decision.

War is an inevitable part of human existence, mainly because there are enough people who are, "nasty, brutish, and short-[ fill in the blank]." Let the old notion of Lady Liberty go. She doesn't exist as she once did. Where we have demanded so much in her name, we've left a wrinkle, scar, or crow's foot for every thing we have taken from her. Choose a side; stand and fight; and agree upon no action when there is neither a victor nor consensus. But let the battles relate only to the situation and to the opinions that set us juxtaposed, because a person in America who has researched and considered enough to have a well formed opinion is one of the greatest assets remaining in our country, a citizen with a vote. And it is in that way that we are now equal. No princes or paupers, no generals or civilians, no black or white, male or female but rather a people with decisions made and a voice to speak, and a ballot to cast.

It is with trust in your hearts that the Almighty God has a plan at you can safely cast your ballot. That while the country continues to love Him first and trust in Him, that we will continue to make our paths straight. Some of you don't believe that He plays this role, and you are entitled to think that way. You are equally entitled to ignore everything I have said and supplant it with your own reality. But you cannot take it away from me, change it, or prevent me from teaching or sharing it. And that is what is supposed to make this country great. That is worth fighting for. That is what happens at the end of Casablanca when Rick must defend his choice and right to give his exit visas to Victor [the truth] and Ilsa [the freedom].

Perhaps once we eliminate our barriers and defenses of comfort and self-assuring preconceptions, we too, will be able to see, as one, the RIGHT and not just the GOOD course of action.

Lord, Save Us From Your Followers!

So, many of you may have already seen this documentary. I am sure that you have your opinions and some of you may have already written it off. Well, I just saw it for the first time tonight, and was elated to hear and see some of the issues that I discuss being brought to the forefront - questions about HOW we treat one another, not simply what we stand for.

We are free to disagree. And we are free to be unproductive, angry, bitter, condescending, hate-filled individuals. But if we call ourselves Christians, we're actually not. If we are a Christ follower, we willingly return that gift of free will back to the One who gave it to us, and we commit that gift to His greatest purpose. And I think this film really helped shed light on what so many Christians are trying to do in this country.

Committing our gift of free will to back to God means that we will go where he wants us to go and love who he wants us to love when he tells us to. And whom do we love? Well, sometimes we like to refer to them as the "lost." Jesus called them "the least of my brethren." So if you are a Christian, who qualifies as the "least"? The homeless? The poor? The infirmed? The dying? That's what we like to think, but I have always felt there is more to it than that.

Scripture has told me that the only "religion" that is pure and faultless and acceptable in the eyes of the Lord is to care for the widowed and orphaned in their distress and to keep one's self pure. So, are the least of them widows and orphans? No. We are ALL the least of his brothers. Straight, gay, male, female, rich, poor, homeless, addicted, pregnant, sterile, black, white, or mixed/other.

Honestly, how old does a person have to be before we stop considering them an orphan? How much time has to pass before a man or woman is no longer considered widowed? And how many of us can fall into that category - especially if, as Christians, we look at these people in the light of their orphaned state with respect to a relationship with "Father" God? Orphaned does not mean that the parents are dead, just that the children have no relationship with them for one reason or another. Isn't that the same with some of the people Christians consider "lost"?

There can be no accident that the two great commandments are to love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, all thy mind and all thy spirit/soul, and the second is to love thy neighbor as thyself, and the only pure religion is to care for widowed and orphaned in their distress and stay pure. They are commanding the same thing! In another way, if you are commanded to Love God with ALL your heart, and loving God is to be obedient to His commands, and His command is love thy neighbor as thyself, and ALL is 100%, how can we have any capacity left to love our neighbors?

It's BECAUSE loving our neighbors IS obedient to God and therefore IS loving him. You cannot love God without loving your neighbors. You cannot be obedient to God without loving your neighbors. You can't love your neighbors without caring for the widowed and orphaned in their distress, and that includes everyone! This doesn't mean that as Christians we are called to accept, love and endorse every lifestyle or action. But it does mean that we are called to respect our neighbors freedom to make those choices, to love them in spite of those choices because God loves them and us equally.

I know right now, some of you are arguing in your heads that the Great Commission calls Christians to go forth and spread the Gospel. No arguments here. My questions are not the "what to do?" it's the "how we're doing it?"

I recently attended a volunteer appreciation night at The Rock Church in San Diego. Over 4000 volunteers were in attendance. These people had logged over 253,000 hours of community service in the last year! And they did it much in the same way that the end of Lord, Save Us demonstrates. They are there to be the body of Christ. To be his hand that holds, his arms that hug, his ear that listens, his tenderness that cares. But there's no proselytizing no condemnation. Because salvation comes by faith. Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen, meaning its a work of the heart and no man can change the heart of another.

This is why Christians, I encourage you all, not to be afraid of gay people and the "homosexual agenda" - don't be afraid of the "perfidious Jews" or "radical Muslims" - don't fear the homeless drug addict - don't be afraid of the wandering prostitute. Why? Because before they were all these things, they were born human beings. Many of them Christened in the same churches you attend now. And you can't reason, rationalize or determine where their lives went wrong and what they did to cause their misfortune, or what God's purpose is in their lives. All you can do is stand in the gap and offer a hug when someone calls them a name, live as a neighbor respecting them as people with a different opinion, volunteer in the trenches and wash the hair and feet and change the clothes of those in need, shut your mouths and open your ears and the hearts to hear the troubles and scars of a damaged spirit.

Because I believe firmly folks, that truly living like Christ, is not the preaching and shouting and swaying to contemporary Christian music - it's picking up a cross that is weighing someone else down to the ground and carrying it with them or for them for as long as God allows, while the world hurls its sins and insults upon your forgiven spirit and flesh. And sometimes while the very people you are helping do the same.

We were made in his image, to follow a path that pays the cost for those we have been called to love. Everyone. Perhaps by loving like this, people will see us as my close friend, and now Christ following Jew, put it - "living out what [we] say [we] believe." That changes hearts, and changed hearts change lives.

Examiner Readers and Huffington Post Readers CAN Agree!

Jason McCool posted the following link: Click Here!

I read the whole article and was surprised and pleased to hear someone speak the same why that I do to people on both sides of the isle. Please review it and place your comments if you like. My comment (omegahil) is below along with a rebuttal to an individual who is most likely on my side of the isle. :)

FIRST LEVEL COMMENT omegahill | 30 minutes ago
The faith of a politician should be lived out in dignity and humility. I am disappointed by slings, arrows, and insults being hurled by people who profess the faith ON BOTH SIDES OF THE ISLE! The application of a Congressman's faith should be in quite reflection and prayer before casting a vote, before opening his mouth, before signing a document, and certainly before calling someone out of hand with no basis of scripture to support his claim.

I appreciate the author's direct yet gentle challenge of correction to Santorum. There really ought to be a movement of Christians determined to live the life apart from trying to make others do the same. It's God himself who leads us by cool waters and makes us lie down by green pastures, not the church or the politicians.

I consider myself a republican and a conservative, but I appreciate this critique, and I agree. Perhaps this is just another indication that the leaders of this country are NOT accurately representing the left and the right appropriately. I pray that more dialogue like this and more connections across the isle will change the behavior of our leaders.

In the meantime, please review this brief study about the "talking donkey." There IS a bit more to this story than most speculators are willing to seek out. Thanks for this commentary I hope to see more like this in HuffPost. http://mixedslashother.blogspot.com/2012/02/response-to-wacky-bible-stories-2.html


FIRST LEVEL COMMENT 2_amazed | 46 minutes ago
Now, I am NOT saying that President Obama is to blame for all the outrageous debt that we as a nation have incurred, ALL who have served in Washington—presidents and congressmen, both Democrats and Republicans—over the course of decades have created this mess.

However we, the people, are also to blame for not knowing enough about the Constitution to challenge the unconstitutional spending that has long gone on. We’ve allowed ourselves to be lulled into a false sense of security and have allowed someone else (the politicians) to play the ‘expert’ and this is the result. The Constitution was not designed to create a mega government that is all things to all people and supports cradle to grave care. I don’t know about you, but I can barely afford gas for my car, and I surely can’t afford to continue to support the government’s spending of my income. I give to charity on my own.

I don’t mind supporting a safety[net] for those that fall on hard times, but not generational support, and I do mind giving money for wasteful spending—of which there is much. We need to elect leaders today who will have the courage to refuse to incur even one more dollar in debt. We need to stop the spending. We are robbing our children and grandchildren of the blessing of liberty in order to fund the reckless spending of government today.

Hide Full Comment | Reply
omegahill | 0 minutes ago
I agree about many of the economic policies. But standard economic theory states that a government ought to restrict public sector spending and divert it to social and private enterprises in order to create sustainable income. Clinton did this. But a government cannot sustain this during wartime.

We ran into problems when during that government draw down, we privatized military operations. So when we had a need for military men and woman, we had neither capital nor human resources to mount a defense or commensurate retaliation. That's why we randomly dropped bombs. It's a combination of two administrations who ran to complete opposite sides of the boat. And the momentum capsized the country.

Right now, Obama IS trying to do the most sound economic thing; however, he cannot do it while we are still in conflict. That is why he is failing. He policies work best only at a time of peace. He's been trying to please too many people at one time. We could have saved trillions if we'd fired the private sector war-profiteering companies, and began redirecting those funds TOWARD our military.

They would have provided the training, facilities, personnel, weaponry, and resources at a much lower cost than Halliburton and any of those other private contractors. [The also would have been providing skills and longevity to enlisted men an women who'd have more incentive to continue serving.]

But this author's arguments are related only to the accusations that a "sinner" is levying against another "sinner." And I believe, if you try to read it again without bias or with the intention of placing blame, you'll likely agree.

A response to "Wacky Bible Stories 2"

A response to "Wacky Bible Stories 2" at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KF47aO4VLy0

You raise valid questions, unfortunately the answer was before you but you skipped past it.

There are sections of Numbers which, if taken out of context can be INCREDIBLY confusing. God actually did not change His mind, he was allowing Balaam to be exposed and putting Balak in his place.
When the bible says that Balak sent messengers, remember that it also said he sent them with a "divination fee." They wanted to hire Balaam to divine a curse against the people of Israel. Then, like a fool he goes to the God of Israel and asks his permission to to take this money and curse God's people. And God responds, "Do not go with them. You must not put a curse on those people because they are blessed."

So Balaam tells the messengers he cannot. But then they don't just return with distinguished princes, they returned with princes authorized to give more money. Balak wanted to sweeten the pot. Since this money changed Balaam's mind, he hoped it would change God's. Balaam was being greedy.

He WANTED to take that money. God doesn't violate our free will, but he WILL allow any path that we choose against him to be more difficult, and sometimes blocked.

He says, "since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, He gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done." Romans 1:28 and Genesis 6:5 "The LORD saw how great man's wickedness on the earth had become, and that every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil all the time."

So when Balaam asked a second time to curse the people of Israel for money, God tested him, and he failed. He gave him up to his desires and told him to go, and Balaam was happy to be "gettin paper."

The complication here is that now, Balaam has essentially walked away from and turned away from God for the purpose of bringing harm to his people. Ergo, send in the Angel of Lord to defend them. But Balaam eyes and ears had been closed to the truth because of his evil desires and choices.

So God made Balaam to hear the his donkey that could see the Angel to which Balaam had made himself blind. But God will try to reach people even if the animals or rocks have to do the speaking: "You have plotted the ruin of many peoples, shaming your own house and forfeiting your life. The stones of the wall will cry out, and the beams of the woodwork will echo it." Habakkuk 2:10-11; "“I tell you,” he replied, “if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.”" Luke 19:40. Psalm 148 tells of all the creatures and creations that are made to praise the Lord. Simply put however, the animals have no choice but to do as God commands.

Free will is a right extended only to people. So, if by his very nature, God would cause a sheep to get Moses' attention, or the stones and woodwork of a house to obey Him, if we wanted to get Balaam's attention, who'd been driven mad by money and inconveniences (2 Peter 2:16), then yes, he could and would make a donkey talk, or appear to Balaam as doing so.

Now, about the claim that God never sent him another message, that is false. In fact, God inherently delivers this very same message to Balak that Balaam should have given to the first group of messengers: "Don't put a curse on those people because they are blessed." (Num 22:12); "How can I curse whose whom God has not cursed?" (Num 23:8) But this message wasn't good enough for Balak. He was determined to appease God with sacrifices because he rejected God's word.

But God says "Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the voice of the LORD? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams. (1 Sam 15:22) But this was already told to us in the story of Cain and Abel: "In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the LORD. But Abel brought fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The LORD looked with favor on Abel and his offering," (Gen 4:4)

So Balak was trying to buy off the Lord God against His people. Instead of obeying Him, seeking Him or trusting Him, Balak tried to turn to divination and bribery and brought Balaam down with Him. They tried this bribery 5 times, and each time the Lord gave Balaam a message for Balak. "God is not a man that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind...I have received a command to bless, he has blessed, and I cannot change it."(Num 23:19-20) "May those who bless you be blessed, and those who curse you be cursed!" (Num 24:9b)

And so Balaam blessed the Israelite people three times. This made Balak furious and he ordered him to go home with none of the financial compensation he'd promised. Now Balaam responds by saying even if you gave me all your silver and gold, I can do nothing but what the Lord commands. And then Balaam delivers a prophecy of Yeshwah the Messiah (Num 24:17, cross reference Mt. 2:2) and a second message about the coming victory over Amelek.

So, as you can see, God put both Balak and Balaam through the fire. He gave Balaam multiple opportunities to be obedient and stand on His word. Then he gave Balak an opportunity to be obedient and understand that he could neither curse nor defeat those whom God called blessed and victorious. The donkey speaking was merely to get Balaam to wake up to the sin of covetousness and greed which he'd committed in his heart by desiring Balak's prizes over the Word of God.

Random Thoughts

I wonder...The name Jehova Rafa is one of the titles of God which in Hebrew means God the Healer, or God is my Healer. All derivatives of this name include Raphael, Raphaela, and Rafael, which is Hebrew for "God heals us" or "God has healed." I wonder then, is it for those of us bearing this name that we might be under the process of constant distress and healing so that the name might be proven true? With a name as old as mine, has the meaning and power survived the centuries? Is a rose still a rose if called by another name? Does a name made one's fate? If so, can fate be changed apart from the name? #randomthoughts #braincramps #weirdmorning

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