Just a Thought

growing is not easy
no how
no way
it must be endured
each and every day

but with lessons learned
and wisdom attained
each life is the measure
of all that is gained

there is no standard
by which to abide
each soul has a path
by which it is guide

with courses as different
as one's fingerprints
each life, like a star
shines one unique glint

from newborn to nether
from birth to the grave
to growing and changing
each life is a slave

when lessons imbued
are fully relayed
the struggle will end
in steadfast display

but the wisdom passed on
before the final knell
was acquired and gathered
till the last ringing bell

each day is a moment
a trial, a show
to challenge one's self
to fatefully grow

Counterpoint

i see you

you have been hiding
protecting yourself from the
pains and heartache of
love and emotion

i see you

peering through the
sack cloth of broken promises
betrayal, unrealized dreams and
unmet expectations,
straining to find the
beauty of the world
the hope of faith

i see you

remembering, reliving the hurts
through the laughter and wine
late nights and darkened rooms
failing to forget that joy
reminds you of the pain

i see you

how do you shield your heart
from joy and pain at the same time?

i see you

how do you reveal your soul in one moment
and fence it in the next?

i see you

wearing lipstick
the perfect color
perfume
subtle and memorable
disarming but understated

i see you

excited laughing
your nose wrinkling under the strain
passionate hands finishing stories
which words cannot manage

i see you though my eyes were shut
i see you

brave
ambitious
powerful

from afar

i see you see me

too close for a friend
too far to savor your perfume

Love is a Battlefield

fire emanating
heat radiating
explosion
bursts
sparking exhausted
embers
reinvigorated
glowing
burning
scorching
consuming calloused
frozen flesh
birthing
molten
fragile
fluid coals flaking
growing
fledgling delicate
hope
breathing
writhing
rising flame
sprinkling blinding
encompassing heat
guarded tinder
exposed
combustion
unshielded crumbling walls
evaporating
steaming condensing
healing ointment
soothing
moving
melting skin
flowing limitless flesh
coursing
driving
cracking
corroding
dripping
eroding
limestone sentinels
lay dying at the
doorstep of a
tender heart 

Paint The Town (Red)

red - the color of passion
l'amour
bee-stung lips, flushed cheeks
eruptions - flaming embers from the deep

the color of the west side one biting october night

two souls danced
paintbrushes in hand
dripping crimson joy into
cracked streets, steel curbs
melting from the liquid heat

gilded faces spattered, ruby encrusted
beam with delight, pleasure, desire
hot breath warms the frigid night as
one laugh births another and another
ceaselessly

quiet flames fanned by bittersweet tones
make mouths silent
eyes dance
hearts scream out muffled behind eager glances suffocated by cautious reserve
eyes with arms would  have embraced one another
the moment, the night, the cold heat

dark embers keep time as icy, sobering sunlight spreads
truth sweeps away the cover of night and the dream

your eyes met mine, familiar
your hand in mine, home
your step with mine, rhythm
a heart beat
my heart - lost

magenta trails trace from bloodshot eyes
left open exposing souls, unleashing hearts

footsteps of dripping, spilled, spattered
crimson paint move from my chest to your hand
your brush - it beats, it breathes, it moves, sighs
contented in your hand.
my heart - found, your happy brush

exhilarated, exhausted - from painting the west side
all night
flushed cheeks, l'amour, passion.
a painted town - a dream
red - the color of passion
red means stop

A Good Day, A Good Reminder

Today I spent 8 hours with my 9-year-old cousin, Malik. We disassembled, sanded, primed, painted, de-rusted, oiled and almost reassembled a bike for his sister's birthday present. I learned that he has a great imagination, a short attention span, a strong desire to be helpful but a fear of failing in the attempt.

He hates the Gummy Bear song, and he often gets a stomach ache because he talks so much at meal time that he scarfs his food without chewing in order to avoid being left alone at the table. He's not a fan of carrot cake, and has some of the shiniest, straightest, prettiest hair you've ever seen. He gets a huge kick from using tools, and has no idea that a razor blade is actually dangerous. He also likes to be organized with other people's things, i.e. tools and toys etc. (His own things? Not so much.)

He's super excited about me being at his house because there is a guy around that is like him, looks like him, thinks a little more like him, and can do fun guys things. This morning before setting out to the deck to work on the bike, he tells his mother, "We going [out] to be men!" Lots of things in life don't go as you plan. Sometimes frustrations set in when you're kicking at the goads trying to have your way. Then, in the meantime, if you stop kicking long enough, you realize you've stopped exactly where you were meant to. If only for a little while.

Today's Casablanca - November 6, 2006

I wrote this review 5 years ago, but I still feel this way. I enjoyed writing this review and welcome discussion.

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Today I saw the great "Casablanca" for the first time. Originally written as a play called "Everybody Comes to Rick's," the film, while dated in appearance, is poignant in both theme and morality.

I thought as I watched this film, "How many people have been stranded by the latest battles around the world? How many lives and loves have been shattered and separated? How many of us have done the right thing in response?"

There is no simple answer to any of these questions as they relate to our current international situation. To compare, we previously had a clear enemy and a clear objective. Now, we are uncertain of exactly who we are fighting, and what outcome we hope to achieve. However, I do not find this situation is to be blamed exclusively on decision-makers. We have a great responsibility ourselves.

We as consumers have demanded such amazing technologies, some of which begin through military experimentation as terrible weapons. The more terrifying and impersonal these weapons have become, the more fearful we are of the slightest knock or noise. We walk on eggshells as an internal defense, attempting not to offend people of differing opinions or circumstances simply because we fear an unexpected retribution - legal or violent, we expect the worst because everyone is now prepared to provide it for the protection of his own pride and way of life.

We prepare amazing defenses designed to strike out at the first sign of impending attack. Atom bombs, H-bombs, and worse - terrible attitudes towards our fellow man, law suits and letters of complaint. While its true that we can never predict when a crazy, self-proclaimed messenger of God will appear and try to kill everyone, does it benefit any of us to be constantly on guard with our emotions and generosity? Is there some protection of the law that says we have a right not to be offended, and if we are, the government should step in and fight for us?

Some say we are fighting the war because the U.S. wants oil, and they stick it to us at the gas pump. Then we say we are trapped because we have no choices, and I think that is far from the truth. We have a choice, we are simply unwilling to pay the price necessary for that change. What kind of SUV do you drive? If you boycotted your gasoline engine until the government legitimately subsidized a real alternative fuel program, do you think we could be ignored? "But the oil companies have the politicians in their pockets." Because you keep giving them the resources to lure our decision-makers. 

Don't shout from the window of your Hummer that the president doesn't care about the soldiers or the American ecosystem. It's conjecture unless you know his mind. Besides, he would obviously be protecting your interests. So many, even in Hollywood, on their high horses talk about the terrible G. W. Bush and his poor action in this war. Many of those people were shouting for action after 9/11. Can we really have it both ways?

I think Casablanca shows us a reality of decision making that we take for granted. Rick's represented America, and how safe we feel here. Protected by our power and connections. 9/11 was like the Nazi's coming in and changing the dynamic of our everyday operations. Rick represented each of us, knowing what is right in his heart, but hurt by the reality of he wanted and the understanding that he is losing it forever. We have lost two things, just like Rick. One, we have lost the safe haven that the"United States" once provided through its relative insulation. Two, like Rick when Ilsa revealed that she was, in fact, married when they fell in love, and married still; we are now disillusioned to what freedom is and the true price of being in her company.

I think this is what makes this latest series of conflicts so dangerous to our society and to our soldiers. We were scrambling to understand a very strange world. As we drank heavily and wore our pants backwards, the world changed in such a way that it was no longer afraid or incapable of reaching us. We are not insulated any more, and we are not immune. And like Rick, we will each of us come to a point where we must make a decision.

War is an inevitable part of human existence, mainly because there are enough people who are, "nasty, brutish, and short-[ fill in the blank]." Let the old notion of Lady Liberty go. She doesn't exist as she once did. Where we have demanded so much in her name, we've left a wrinkle, scar, or crow's foot for every thing we have taken from her. Choose a side; stand and fight; and agree upon no action when there is neither a victor nor consensus. But let the battles relate only to the situation and to the opinions that set us juxtaposed, because a person in America who has researched and considered enough to have a well formed opinion is one of the greatest assets remaining in our country, a citizen with a vote. And it is in that way that we are now equal. No princes or paupers, no generals or civilians, no black or white, male or female but rather a people with decisions made and a voice to speak, and a ballot to cast.

It is with trust in your hearts that the Almighty God has a plan at you can safely cast your ballot. That while the country continues to love Him first and trust in Him, that we will continue to make our paths straight. Some of you don't believe that He plays this role, and you are entitled to think that way. You are equally entitled to ignore everything I have said and supplant it with your own reality. But you cannot take it away from me, change it, or prevent me from teaching or sharing it. And that is what is supposed to make this country great. That is worth fighting for. That is what happens at the end of Casablanca when Rick must defend his choice and right to give his exit visas to Victor [the truth] and Ilsa [the freedom].

Perhaps once we eliminate our barriers and defenses of comfort and self-assuring preconceptions, we too, will be able to see, as one, the RIGHT and not just the GOOD course of action.

Lord, Save Us From Your Followers!

So, many of you may have already seen this documentary. I am sure that you have your opinions and some of you may have already written it off. Well, I just saw it for the first time tonight, and was elated to hear and see some of the issues that I discuss being brought to the forefront - questions about HOW we treat one another, not simply what we stand for.

We are free to disagree. And we are free to be unproductive, angry, bitter, condescending, hate-filled individuals. But if we call ourselves Christians, we're actually not. If we are a Christ follower, we willingly return that gift of free will back to the One who gave it to us, and we commit that gift to His greatest purpose. And I think this film really helped shed light on what so many Christians are trying to do in this country.

Committing our gift of free will to back to God means that we will go where he wants us to go and love who he wants us to love when he tells us to. And whom do we love? Well, sometimes we like to refer to them as the "lost." Jesus called them "the least of my brethren." So if you are a Christian, who qualifies as the "least"? The homeless? The poor? The infirmed? The dying? That's what we like to think, but I have always felt there is more to it than that.

Scripture has told me that the only "religion" that is pure and faultless and acceptable in the eyes of the Lord is to care for the widowed and orphaned in their distress and to keep one's self pure. So, are the least of them widows and orphans? No. We are ALL the least of his brothers. Straight, gay, male, female, rich, poor, homeless, addicted, pregnant, sterile, black, white, or mixed/other.

Honestly, how old does a person have to be before we stop considering them an orphan? How much time has to pass before a man or woman is no longer considered widowed? And how many of us can fall into that category - especially if, as Christians, we look at these people in the light of their orphaned state with respect to a relationship with "Father" God? Orphaned does not mean that the parents are dead, just that the children have no relationship with them for one reason or another. Isn't that the same with some of the people Christians consider "lost"?

There can be no accident that the two great commandments are to love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, all thy mind and all thy spirit/soul, and the second is to love thy neighbor as thyself, and the only pure religion is to care for widowed and orphaned in their distress and stay pure. They are commanding the same thing! In another way, if you are commanded to Love God with ALL your heart, and loving God is to be obedient to His commands, and His command is love thy neighbor as thyself, and ALL is 100%, how can we have any capacity left to love our neighbors?

It's BECAUSE loving our neighbors IS obedient to God and therefore IS loving him. You cannot love God without loving your neighbors. You cannot be obedient to God without loving your neighbors. You can't love your neighbors without caring for the widowed and orphaned in their distress, and that includes everyone! This doesn't mean that as Christians we are called to accept, love and endorse every lifestyle or action. But it does mean that we are called to respect our neighbors freedom to make those choices, to love them in spite of those choices because God loves them and us equally.

I know right now, some of you are arguing in your heads that the Great Commission calls Christians to go forth and spread the Gospel. No arguments here. My questions are not the "what to do?" it's the "how we're doing it?"

I recently attended a volunteer appreciation night at The Rock Church in San Diego. Over 4000 volunteers were in attendance. These people had logged over 253,000 hours of community service in the last year! And they did it much in the same way that the end of Lord, Save Us demonstrates. They are there to be the body of Christ. To be his hand that holds, his arms that hug, his ear that listens, his tenderness that cares. But there's no proselytizing no condemnation. Because salvation comes by faith. Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen, meaning its a work of the heart and no man can change the heart of another.

This is why Christians, I encourage you all, not to be afraid of gay people and the "homosexual agenda" - don't be afraid of the "perfidious Jews" or "radical Muslims" - don't fear the homeless drug addict - don't be afraid of the wandering prostitute. Why? Because before they were all these things, they were born human beings. Many of them Christened in the same churches you attend now. And you can't reason, rationalize or determine where their lives went wrong and what they did to cause their misfortune, or what God's purpose is in their lives. All you can do is stand in the gap and offer a hug when someone calls them a name, live as a neighbor respecting them as people with a different opinion, volunteer in the trenches and wash the hair and feet and change the clothes of those in need, shut your mouths and open your ears and the hearts to hear the troubles and scars of a damaged spirit.

Because I believe firmly folks, that truly living like Christ, is not the preaching and shouting and swaying to contemporary Christian music - it's picking up a cross that is weighing someone else down to the ground and carrying it with them or for them for as long as God allows, while the world hurls its sins and insults upon your forgiven spirit and flesh. And sometimes while the very people you are helping do the same.

We were made in his image, to follow a path that pays the cost for those we have been called to love. Everyone. Perhaps by loving like this, people will see us as my close friend, and now Christ following Jew, put it - "living out what [we] say [we] believe." That changes hearts, and changed hearts change lives.